Tuesday, October 23, 2007


Thursday, October 18, 2007

Friday, October 5, 2007

One of those days ...

Ever had one of those days when the moment you wake up, your ears are assailed by wails and whines from the children? Today's one of them. L's been acting like a baby ever since I pampered him during his ear infection. Not willing to talk and expecting me to do simple things for him. I scolded him all day yesterday for his unwillingness to talk and today, I felt bad so I tried to make things up by being nice again. Once he knew that I was nice again, he reverted to his baby ways and that drove me up the wall. Again, he got some scolding before school. Said he didn't want to go to school b/c his ear hurt. I felt bad b/c I forgot to give him the antibiotics yesterday. Told him that if he wants to stay home, he will have to sleep and rest. No computers or video games. He decided that school was a funner choice. Perhaps that reason or just to be away from my nagging lips.

My heart felt guilty after I dropped him off school so I decided that I would make some muffins for him. Went to Raley's with J. Started off good with all the halloween decorations getting his attention. Then he saw raspberries and got it in his brain to have it or nothing. Now, I don't think they are cheap. One small packet probably cost $3.99. So, I said no. He started wailing there and then. I bought a few items and knew that I forgot something b/c I couldn't think through all his racket. Came home and realised that I forgot to get eggs. Got me really upset then. I can't make muffin now.

J continued to cry crocodile tears. Waaaa ... no tears. I sent him to his room and turned on the TV.

This is a battle of the thoughts. One thought tells me to be upset because I have the right to. Another thought says, "What's the point? You are already upset. Try to get out of it. Think good thoughts and you will feel better." I tried to be happy but it is so hard. I tried to smile but all came out was a grim line which didn't look happy at all.

Sometimes I feel bad for just wanting to put my kids in school so I have time to myself. I guess that's just normal esp. when I don't have much adult interactions.